As a relative SoftLayer "oldtimer" in development, I can honestly say this has never been a thing (at least not in systems development). (Also, I don't know any Slayers who used the term STSM)

I would argue with our architect (we only had one for several years) and leads. Obviously I would do this in a way which wasn't obnoxious or rude, but I loved good solutions and I wanted to arrive at the best one. If I didn't like the solution which was presented, I would get more devs to weigh in and I would present an alternative design to the architect.

I currently hold a leadership role in development and I am challenged by my teammates on a daily basis, and I love it!

I want my team to always question my decisions because if I can't defend it well, it's not a good direction.

I want my team to constantly be engaging their minds as I refuse to dictate how everyone else should work without getting their input.

My team respects me, I don't question that at all, but having their respect doesn't mean they need to check their brains at the door.

I don't want code monkeys (or people who coast through a job) on my team.

I want awesome devs, and arguments are just one of the small costs for dealing with people who are passionate about what they're doing, and as I said before, I love it!