My time to shine.

It was a tough month for me. I was in college living in a house with 7 other guys. We threw a party and I spilt beer on one of my roommate's laptop. It was bad, and it was a brand new Macbook Pro.

Now in my defense, he shouldn't have left it out in a party. But he wanted to be paid back in full and as much as I wanted to help him, I was flat broke. My parents refused to help, so I paid back part of it from what little savings I had. I started going hungry, skipping meals a lot. It was also around this time that I revealed to my family I wouldn't be able to graduate that year (my senior year), and they were understandably pissed and insisted I move back in with them and commute 1.5 hrs to school everyday. Honestly, that would have made sense but I didn't want to b/c I was an idiot.

I tried setting up a male cam account but was too nervous to go through with jerking off on camera. I wound up crying fully clothed while live and one lonely masturbator sent me a whole $5. A fucking hero. Unfortunately, I couldn't get paid until I made it to $50 so that money's still out there in the ether.

Also around that time I went to a party and asked out a girl I really liked only to have everything go quiet right as she rejected me by running away like a fucking 12 year old. Obviously this wasn't as bad being completely broke and hungry but it still hurt my feelings.

Then the charger to my laptop broke, which I needed for school. The Apple store tried to charge me $80 that I didn't have. I decided to sell all my magic cards at my local game store, but only got about $300 for $600 worth of cards. I gave some of it to my housemate whose computer I broke as a show of goodwill, bought a new charger for my laptop while swearing off Apple forever, and then had just enough money to buy a nice, cheap cuppa coffee. Maybe a bit unnecessary but it had been a tough couple weeks and I felt like I needed a pick me up. I wasn't sure how I'd make rent, but I was walking down the street feeling pretty good. I'd hit bottom, and things could only get better.

And it was right then that I shat myself.

I don't really know what happened. I guess having a shitty diet of PBJs, ramen, and free food scrounged from around campus combined with drinking coffee for the first time in weeks left me with a particularly vulnerable digestive tract. The best way I could describe it is that I bet on a fart and lost. I let one slip and next thing I new there was a fresh shit in my pants.

I went back to the house, stripped naked in the kitchen, (fortunately nobody was home), threw my soiled pants in a trashbag, washed up and grabbed as much of my stuff as I could.

From there I went back to my parents and moved back in that night. I found a subletter willing to cover the cost of rent and a job to make enough money to pay back my housemate for the cost of repairs. I graduated the next year. I've never forgotten that day and I now carry an extra pair of underpants and wet wipes wherever I go.