Have tried several times and failed. I suffer from severe mental illness, which according to my psychologist and psychiatrist makes me highly intelligent but my life is a misery. I cannot even commit sucide now because after so many attemps and seeing people around me (especially family) I realise they get hurt and are emotionally dependent on me. What I won't give to die of natural causes and get this over with! I don't wish mental illness to anyone, it kills you every day, till you are no longer a person with emotions at all, but a robot going through the motions. Earlier I wished that if I ever come out of this misery I will donate and do a lot of work to help mental healthcare scenario in the world. But now I know I won't come out. I am waiting for the day when people emotionally dependent on me die, after that I too will commit suicide in peace. I can rant on and on.