This happened to me about 10 years ago. The important thing to remember is to take small significant steps (ie. Seek legal advice or start family court application). Learn to pick your battles. Unfortunately the mum has the power right now and if you fight everything she does you will wear yourself down and end up looking like a tosser. Those things that seem like a really big deal mean nothing.

Be nice. Your child's mother is your child's mother. It doesn't matter how much you dislike her, your child will never want to hear or see a sign of it.

Be patient. Everything takes forever and nobody seems to care. Yelling, crying or bargaining won't help. Just be patient.

Tick all the boxes. Do parenting courses, first aid courses, sacrifice work and personal time. Do anything that is asked of you and more.

Be prepared to lose. Nobody wins out of these things. If you think you're going to win you'll only end up disappointed. Expect heavy compromise at best. Any time you get with your child in any circumstances is gold. Cherish it. Be thankful for it and work hard to get more of it.

Your child is number 1. Bury your pride. Bury your resentment. What is best for your child? Do it. Even if it hurts you.

You'll never know certainty again. I still have no idea what to do next. My daughter wants to be with me full time and although I'd love that more than anything, the current orders are for 50/50 and she's too young to make the call. I'd have a chance at extra time given circumstances if we went to trial but every time we head to court things get too nasty (from my ex... I play nice) and my daughter is torn between us and feels guilty. I hate putting her in that situation. I can't even discuss court with my daughter so when explaining why I can't have her full time it ends up sounding like I'm making excuses and just want alone time - I tell her that mummy loves her and wants time with her as well. She's getting to the age where actions speak louder than words though and "mummy loves you" sounds like bullshit no matter where it comes from (mummy has let her dad have full care during her time for the past 3 weeks and on/off for 3 years - it's better in a way).

Sorry... that became a bit self indulgent. The point is that it's hard. Really hard. But it's also the best thing you'll ever do.

Good luck.