Ive dealt with it.. im still dealing with it. After 6 yrs theres still alot of pain they're dealing with inside, but it gets better and they do adjust, you just need to be that stable foundation they can trust in. Everything in their world they once knew and could count on had been turned upside down! They have to learn to how to deal with it in their own way. You have to show them that no matter what goes on in their lives.. Dad will always be there for them. Spend as much time with them as you possibly can! Listen to them, talk to them, make them as much of a part of your day to day life as you can. Treat them like small adults, Let them have the feeling that they have contol over their lives. Let them express their individuality.. in fact encourage it! When my daughter wanted to color her hair blue(as much as i didn't like it) i allowed it.. in fact i helped! -Lol a big tough construction worker dying hair?!- But she was a good kid and that helped build a bond between us so why not? Give them certain responsibilities that insure a better quality of life for the household. That will help them feel important.. It may only be doing the dishes or taking out the garbage but its their job and YOU count on them to help out the family. They need to know that the divorce didnt end "the family"! Its a lot of sacrifice and you'll have to put your own needs aside sometimes but its worth it in the long run! I've been through it and in my situation their mother has decided to re-live her 20s and has pretty much abandoned them.. so its been very challenging! Ive had deal with everything from teaching my daughter about her period to dealing with my 9 yr old son's suicide threats. Through it all the one thing they could count on was that i was there for them, i always kept a cool head and i had their back no matter what!

I hope this helps.. and remember it gets better just enjoy the times you have with, because they grow up QUICK!