And I know how I describe it doesn't sound very attractive but I've always been "aware". I can handle traumatised or scared " aggressive " animals everyone else claims are unmanageable and should be put down, make feral cats and even injured wild animals approach me, tell what a plant needs or even what's not going right in a machine. I'm that person finding a lost kid before parents realise it is missing, diving up a wedding ring in an olympic pool within a minute of someone proclaiming they lost it, etc.

When I really focus it's usually like feeling the life of the world flow through you.

And now it kind of feels like the line from that Garbage song, "there's no point in living if you can't feel the life".

Well not no point in living but... it's very disturbing not to feel it suddenly.