Query Critiques

C.B. Schuette’s APATHETIC NO LONGER, the story of a young attorney—burdened by guilt following his family’s deaths—who uses his unwanted inheritance to launch several businesses before orchestrating vigilante justice against America’s criminals, unsavory businessmen, and crooked politicians. Although he doesn’t possess the expertise or physical prowess for success independently, he’s assembled an eclectic group of computer whizzes, assorted professionals, and strongmen who do. He’s got nothing to lose, and the kind of money that could force change—provided someone doesn’t eliminate him, or his team, first.
Lyle briefly explains the tragedy he experienced, and what it left him—money he doesn’t want—before deciding to use his inheritance to seek vengeance and advocate for social justice, starting with the founding of a new social networking site. The proceeds of this venture are laundered to his friends to start other businesses, aimed at creating a network of cooperative companies, dedicated to lessening the cost of living for everyday Americans. While this progresses rather smoothly, he runs into trouble when trying to assemble a team of special ops-like strongmen, because money doesn’t automatically get you everything you want. By this book’s end, Lyle has established the infrastructure to promulgate his ideals, and a team of techies and agents to carry out his darker objectives. The problem? The “big fish” businesses that he’ll need to compete against aren’t about ready to collapse without a fight. No tactic is out of bounds, and the guilty won’t suffer alone.
This is the first thriller novel of a four-part series, and totals 142,800 words. Main themes include the dichotomy between wealth and happiness, using illegal means to achieve objectively noble ends, America’s struggle to reinvent “modern” capitalism, and a variety of pervasive social issues.
I don’t have professional writing experience. I’m twenty-four, in law school, and normally write academically. Although the novel, as part of a series, is in some regards similar to movies/TV shows like Batman, Daredevil, or Ironman, it’s national in scope and written from the puppeteer’s perspective, while featuring excerpts told from his accomplices’ perspectives.
If you require any more information, please let me know. You can reach me at (xxx) xxx-xxxx or [email protected]. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to working with you.

Calvin Schuette

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