Question about commitment and solo poly

This.. obsessed with commitment. What does that even mean? “You have license to control me thru guilt and manipulation and obligation” it dawned on me at one point “why am I so obsessed with someone being devoted to me?” Has that ever worked for me? Nah.

I’d rather someone choose to show up for me than feel obligated to do so.

If there is anything I have learned thru 2 mono marriages and a few “open situations”... is that anyone may choose to fuck off one day, despite the proclaimed commitment. And some people keep showing up for me despite never having the proclamation of commitment or framing our relations with labels and keep showing up past the days of regular intercourse with that person.

We are all autonomous. And can change our mind at any time. And can choose to show up or not. Label it what you want, I think it’s more important to find those people that honor your being.

/r/solopolyamory Thread Parent