I wrote this during the off season last year but never posted it here. It actually has some pretty funny similarities with the actual 2014 season. (I had to break it up into a couple different parts because it's too long).
NASCAR 2014
November 18th, 2013, three o'clock in the morning. Merely hours have passed since Jimmie Johnson was crowned champion for the sixth time. The party is still raging for the 48 team. Mike Helton, though, rests his weary eyes after another grueling season of NASCAR. He awakens from his sleep in a sweating panic. What is the nightmare that keeps him awake late at night? He can't figure out how to fix NASCAR. He feels like the organization has done everything it can to improve the racing and please the fans, but nothing seems to work. The nightmare of trying to fix NASCAR for the fans and failing haunts him so frequently that he barely eats, and is afraid of falling asleep. This time, however, the nightmare has become a dream that could very accurately be described as an epiphany.
Six hours later, Mike busts into Brian France's office. NOBODY enters Mr. France's office without an appointment. Such an action normally results, at best, in an explosive exclamation to leave his office at once; at worst...we won't go there. Mike prepares himself for the worst; it is, after all, the day after the championship ended. Mr. France is a busy man on days like this. Brian doesn't flinch. He doesn't look up from his desk and doesn't even acknowledge Mike's presence. Mike is nervous. He never gets nervous. His mind briefly wanders to the memory of his last nervous moment...February 18th, 2001.
"Brian, I--" Mike is interrupted before he can finish. "I know, Mike." The confusion shows on Mike's face. "What do you--" his question is interrupted by Brian again. "Here is a list of everything I need you to take care of," Brian says as he hands Mike a stack of papers. Mike is in disbelief. He stands in front of Brian's desk, motionless, in shock as he reads the first few items of the list, which is a near duplicate of the list Mike had written in the wee hours of the morning and brought to Brian; the dream is coming true. Brian stops working and looks up from his desk for the first time. Mike nervously locks eyes with him. "We don't have much time. Get to work," Brian sternly instructs. Brian gets back to the work on his desk as Mike hurries towards the door to get to work on the list. "And don't EVER enter my office again without an appointment."
Brian and Mike work feverishly during the offseason to make all of the changes they have decided on. They demand secrecy from everyone involved, with the threat of termination and lawsuits if any information is leaked. Nobody is brave enough to challenge the authority and power of NASCAR, and no one on the outside has a clue of the massive changes to come. The offseason goes as planned, or so it seems. Driver and crew changes are announced. Paint schemes are revealed. But what no one knows is how radically different NASCAR will be in 2014.
January 6th, 2014. NASCAR has called a surprise media day in Daytona before preseason thunder starts. No information is given as to why the press conference has been called, but NASCAR urges all media to be there, that they NEED to be there. There is an unparalleled buzz of uncertainty coming from the media, with social media exploding with possible announcements from NASCAR. Nobody is ready for what happens next.
Mike Helton and Brian France enter the room and stand on the podium together. Mike addresses the media first.
"First, thank you all for meeting with us on such short notice. This is a huge day for NASCAR, so I won't delay it any longer. We have massive changes for the 2014 that no one but NASCAR and NASCAR teams and track owners know about. It has been held in secrecy, but today, the world gets to learn how we will make the worlds greatest Motorsport even better than ever. First, I present to you, the 2014 Sprint Cup Series car."
At first glance, it looks mostly the same, but a longer look results in noticing the aesthetic and aerodynamic differences that Brian and Mike tag team explaining. Gone are the "shark fins" on the roof. The rear spoiler has been dramatically reduced and the side skirts are now non-existent. The front splitter has been removed, with the front bumper sitting much higher than it has in years past. The car looks more than ever like it's production counterpart. A camera streams its feed to a large projector displayed above the podium, as the cameraman circles the car, showing a close up view of the undercarriage of the revamped gen 6 car.
Brian and Mike continue to tag team the new features of the car that will keep it from "sucking" down onto the track at high speeds. The car is designed so that the chassis and undercarriage of the car will bottom out before the body of the car, and bump stops are now illegal to use; the teams must rely on their suspension setup, the shocks and springs, to keep their cars glued to the track without bottoming out. The new rules are designed to make mechanical grip more prevalent, and to allow air to flow under the car, lessening the dreaded "aero push" effect.
The teams will now have much more freedom with their setups at all tracks. They will now have complete freedom with transmission gearing, and the rear spoiler angle will be adjustable to teams' preference. This applies to all tracks, including restrictor plate races. In fact, teams will no longer be restricted to a certain shock package on restrictor plate races. The crew chiefs and engineers will now have the freedom to be creative with their setups. In addition to all these changes, Mike explains that teams will no longer have special aero packages for the restrictor plate races at Daytona and Talladega, but the restrictor plates will stay due to safety reasons. Added to all of this is the promise from Goodyear to make a softer tire that wears as the races go on, and with the cars being lighter and less aerodynamic, this can now be possible without too much heat build up.
Mike exclaims his excitement for the technical changes to the car, and how much he expects the racing to improve with these changes. After a brief pause, he states that the changes to the car are minor compared to what they have planned for the sprint cup series schedule. Brian leads into the schedule changes.
There are six tracks that will be reduced from two races a year to one: Michigan, Pocono, Dover, Texas, New Hampshire, and Phoenix. The series finale will mark the return of the Sprint Cup series to Rockingham for the first time in a decade, to crown the series champion. An additional road course is finally added to the schedule, as the Chase will start with a 300 mile race at the Circuit of the Americas. The regular season will consist of 22 races, ending at Darlington. After taking a one week break, the season will end with chase races at the following venues: COTA, Dover, Talladega, Bristol, Charlotte, Martinsville, Atlanta, California, Homestead, and Rockingham. The series will only be off for two weeks, for Easter and the week before the chase. This puts the season ending two weeks sooner.
This brings us to the newest rendition of the NASCAR points system. Points will now be given to the top three qualifiers of each event; 10 points for the pole winner, 5 points for outside pole, and two points for third. Lap leaders will still be rewarded with one bonus point, but only laps led under green will count; the same goes for the leader of the most laps. The same basic points system, in which each position is worth an extra point, will be used, but with the following changes: 15 bonus points awarded to the winner, 5 points to second place, 2 to third, and 1 for fourth and fifth. The points will be reset for the chase with seeding based on final regular season points. 5 points will separate each of the top 5, 7 points will separate 6th through 10th, and each win will net the teams an additional 3 points. There is no more wildcard.
Nearly done, Mike Helton explains the competition changes. Gone are double file restarts. Restarts will now be single file with passing allowed on the outside, as it was in the past, but lap down cars will restart at the tail end of the field. Wave around and "lucky dog" rules remain in place. Cautions will no longer be thrown for accidents that take place beyond turn one on the final lap. Drivers will be allowed to race back to the line and will be expected to slow to a safe speed after taking the checkered flag, before reaching the crash site.
The final announcement comes from Brian France, himself. He apologizes profusely for the integrity of the sport over recent years. He takes responsibility for using ploys such as debris cautions to tighten up competition. He vows that it will never happen again, and that cautions from here forward will be 100% legitimate, and that the days of the "phantom debris cautions" are now behind NASCAR. "Thank you all for your time, and I hope everyone enjoys the new era of NASCAR," Mike enthusiastically states, as he and Brian leave the podium. NASCAR 2014 has begun.