be me a young 12 year old I see an Indian man kissing another Caucasian man I ask my laobu what they are doing she forcibly places her palms on my eyes while chanting hymns to ensure that the gay devils are forced away but it is too late I have already contracted the gay I start buying yaoi manga with gender unspecific androgynous men. I go to the doctor, having to rely on state funding after my mom disowned me in fear of contracting the gay too the doctor is a buff stud and tells me that for one to stop the gay he must be a strong 男子汉 suddenly, the doctor cries out in pain his eyes start twitching and expanding until his pupils are as wide as a olive Where a mountain of a man once stood a small bulimic tall androgynous man remained his chin starts becoming sharper and sharper "Oh no" "he has contracted the gay" doctors religious leader calls me a spawn of hell and starts a campaign to stop me from spreading the gay agenda everywhere I go men embrace and start violating each other as though they were in a grippy bananas fanfic finally I meet Kong hee he tells me that he can save me, but only if I gave him some money I asked how much 3.50 It was then that I realise that he was a 5000 foot lizard from the paleolithic era