Wow I'm sorry you spilled your guts here and no one commented back.

You're not alone; everyone feels this way their first year. Being a hospital nurse is unbelievably stressful. The general public has no idea.

During my first year I was done too. At the end of one night shift, I was in a woman's room; and as I finished my tasks and was going to go to the next bedpan/pain med/puddle of puke, she reached out her hand to stop me. I plastered a fake smile on my face and tiredly asked, "Do you need something else?" (Please say no....).

And she said simply, "I just wanted to touch you."

I sat down, stunned, and let her hold my arm a minute. 31 years later and I've never forgotten her. She kept me in nursing. It hasn't been a picnic, but when the economy tanked in 2008 in the US, I still had a job. My husband pretty much lost his and never got it back. If hadn't been a nurse, we would have lost our insurance and probably our house at some point.

Now, if you are truly done, move on while you are young, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty. But if you can stick it out, I urge you to get at least 18-24 months under your belt at the bedside, and move on to a procedural area (like me; PICC nurse), clinic position, outpatient area or something other than bedside. There are so many places to go in nursing, and then your investment in your degree will be not for nothing.

If in the end you simply are done, DO NOT let your license lag, PLEASE. I can't stress how important this is. You can do some CEU's and list yourself as 'inactive'. IF you decide to go back to nursing someday, it will be worlds easier if your license has not expired. This information was told to me at a seminar one year by our State's Chief Nurse Executive. If your license expires and you decide you want to go back to nursing, you have to take boards all over again.

Good luck /u/Mabelholmes; I hope whatever you decide makes you happier than you are now. You may find simply working part time makes a huge difference in your daily life.