Many years ago my friends found out I was still a virgin, and they figured they'd "help" me by taking me to bars and clubs and encouraging me to approach random women. I always felt different about this stuff but I could never pin down what was causing it. I just listened to what other people told me. When I would express confusion over the idea of flirting with a random stranger, I was told I just needed more confidence, or I need to be less shy, or I need to "experience life." It felt wrong, like it didn't really fit, but I didn't know what else to believe so I just listened to what my friends told me.

The first time I really noticed just how different I seem to work was when those friends kept pressuring me to flirt with random people. They told me to go up to the hottest woman in the room and just start flirting with her. I don't even know how to flirt, but besides the point. I didn't know who I was meant to approach. I told them I didn't know what they meant, that everyone looked the same to me. They'd point at random women and ask me if I liked her body, and I always answered by saying "I don't know, I don't know her?"

I eventually started approaching people based on things entirely unrelated to their sex appeal. I remember one night, my friends kept urging me to just approach SOMEONE I liked. I didn't know what to do, so I looked around the room and saw a woman with VERY pretty hair. So I said "well I love that girl's hair, does that work?", my friends said "yeah sure, whatever man, just go talk to her." So I did. She was very lovely to talk to!

My friends were trying their hardest to get me hooked up with someone, and all I wanted to do was chat with people and meet cool strangers. So I never "spit game", or rizzed or whatever the hell it's called now. I just had fun talking to strangers and getting to know them.

At the time a lot of the things my friends said to me made me feel very dejected and broken. Like there was this stuff they just expected me to know and understand. Looking back on all of it now though, it is pretty funny? Like, all of this subtle sexual stuff just flies right over my head. After I learned I was demi, I looked back on my life and realized there were more than a few situations where it was plainly obvious someone was interested in me. I just never saw it that way because all I thought was "wow this person is so cool! What a great friend I've made!"