I work dispatch for my city's municipal police department. I answer 911 with, "Police, fire, or ambulance?" and will continue with the caller if they select police, otherwise transfer to the other services.

Received a call from a male on 911 who had a heavy Asian accent. "I have a toilet problem", he said. I was new still, this can't be real-life. I say I didn't catch what he said. He repeats it. Alright then. We're instructed to not entertain non-emergencies on an emergency line so if people do need the police for such, we give them the non-emerg number or give them a quick solution and disconnect. Buddy would not take no for an answer. Kept telling him this is not what you call 911 for. Insisted police attend. Said no, call a plumber.

One of the most idiotic calls I've gotten was from a male who wanted to both: a) Charge his friend with theft b) Report him as a missing person. Story goes that he and this friend do drugs, sent his buddy to buy more drugs. Guy gave his friend his scale and his friend was to sell it to the dealer for said drugs. Well, it had been a few hours max and his friend had not yet returned so now he wanted him charged for theft. Oh ps this is all on recorded lines.

Me: Soo.. you want to tell the police ALL the details of this story?

Instead, he now wanted to do a missing persons report for his friend because he was concerned for his well-being because he went to buy drugs from a shady drug dealer. Eventually, I told him that his friend is an adult, can come and go as he pleases, make his own decisions, and again it hasn't been that long.