[Serious] If you knew what you know now before you had your children, would you have kids again?

If you've not seen the movie The Arrival, beware of spoilers ahead. In the film, Amy Adams eventually remembers her own future and knows that her future daughter will get cancer and die young. Knowing that, she decides to have her anyway. The good and loving memories are worth it to her.

That said...

I don't talk about this much, and I've never posted about it on Reddit.

Five years ago my girlfriend and I had a baby girl. Totally unplanned, we chalked it up to birth control failure. Despite the surprise, we decided were both financially ready and emotionally invested in each other to start a family. Healthy pregnancy, lamaze (spelling?) classes, hours-long conversations about names and middle names. By the time she was born, we were beyond excited.

Chloe was born on 4/03/2013. I have never felt such joy, such love, such enormous responsibility in my life. Holding a little person that is literally 50% YOU and 50% the person you are madly in love with is something I can't describe, and if I could I think I would be a poet.

Chloe died on 7/16/2016.

Leukemia.

Cancer is the reason I don't believe in God. Spend a year in a child cancer ward and tell me how you feel.

In the 3 years I had Chloe, despite her sickness, her mother and I experienced the purest love ever. Love for Chloe, love for each other. We had something to fight for, and against. We were fighting cancer, and fighting for our daughter.

Chloe was bubbly and all smiles and giggles, right up to the end. She liked Scooby Doo and some cartoon called Super Why, or Super Y.

Those three years were filled the most joy I've ever felt. Sometimes I think I'll never be happy again, that I used it all up. And sometimes I think I don't deserve to be happy again, because to answer your question, no. No, I wouldn't have kids again, knowing what I know now.

I would not want to watch my child die again. Once was enough. I would not want to bring a person into this world who would experience mostly pain and suffering just so I could feel those feelings of love and joy.

Like I said, watch a baby die of cancer and explain to me how there is a God. Honestly, I want to know.

/r/AskReddit Thread