I'm High-Functioning Autistic with Type 2 Bipolar Disorder. The HFA broke my social processes pretty thoroughly, including my ability to "feel" emotional connections with other people and derive the benefits that result from them. I was surrounded by slightly dysfunctional people that loved and cared about me very much. But between Bipolar Disorder and HFA, I was unable to "feel" any of it.
At 15 years old, I put a loaded pistol to my head, just above my right ear, and pulled the trigger. I don't remember hearing anything, I just remember watching the casing fly free from the slide and land near the other side of the bed. I stood there for a moment, with the gun in my hand, and my brain swung from the depressive meltdown I was having into cold logic.
My first thought was..."Being dead sure does feel an awful lot like being alive. Did I turn into a ghost? I did die in a very emotional manner by my own hand." And then I realized I hadn't heard an explosion of a bullet firing. Was I supposed to hear that? I then realized I wasn't hearing anything until the singing of the spring birds started to come back through the "fog" of whatever physiological reaction occurred. I looked at the gun, walked around the bed and picked up the bullet. It hadn't fired. Hammer mark on the primer of the bullet. I put the bullet back in the clip, put the gun away, and didn't tell anyone about it until I was about 29 when I experienced a Mixed Cycle that finally drove me into a psych's office.
Today, things are much better for me. Life is far from perfect, but I wake up in the morning and don't curse the fact that I'm still alive. I spent 15 years undiagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I racked up another six passive suicide attempts and numerous other unpleasant things that comes with living with an undiagnosed mental illness.
If you think something is wrong with you, it is very much worthwhile to talk to a mental health professional about your situation, at least to get a professional opinion. A lot of people are scared of seeking help because of misinformation and stigma. They're not going to take your kids. They're not going to lock you up without very good cause. They're not going to force you to take meds against your will. (Yes, there are exceptions to everything, but these things are a rarity.) When I was finally diagnosed, I went in and admitted to my caseworker that my brain was trying to convince me to murder a bunch of people. I was terrified of what my brain was telling me to do and was more than willing to be institutionalized if it kept me from doing something horrible. I wasn't institutionalized because I was aware that these thoughts were incorrect and was seeking help with them - according to my caseworker who I asked later.
And understand this, mental health professionals do not make us well. We make ourselves well with their assistance. A lot of us go in, lie about what we're doing and experiencing, and then blame the mental health industry for not being able to help us. Mental health professionals largely know YOUR situation through what YOU tell them. If you are not being honest with them, you're essentially paying money to fuck yourself over.
They are making their decisions based on their clinical knowledge in addition to the information you are providing. If you are not providing all of the information or are lying, then their decisions and guidance isn't likely to help you.
Yes, there's a lot wrong with the mental health industry; but we consumers cause a hell of a lot of problems for ourselves as well.