I have a kink that I’m pretty sure came about as a coping mechanism to deal with some trauma/anxiety that I’ve been trying to get away from for years now. With very little success.

It’s horrible because nothing else gets me going quite like this does but then afterwards I feel horrible. Empty, cold, miserable. It’s like a strong and addicting drug with a horrible comedown. I should probably see a sex therapist but I’m very broke so. Here we are.

Off chance anyone reads this (I’m late as fuck to this thread I just wanted to vent) there’s nothing illegal, especially gross, or amoral about the specific kink—I’m cagey about it’s specific nature these days because it’s a) hard to talk about b) poorly understood and c) has frequently been abused by people I’ve been in relationships with to manipulate me. All of which has led me to be pretty closed lipped about it.