My dad molested me from 3-10. I guess he thought it would be fine because he disguised it as play and affection so I wouldn't be the wiser and wouldn't remember because I was so young. He was half right; I didn't know what he was up to as a kid and really did think it was play and affection.

Too bad I still hated what he did to me. So as a result I started reflexively avoiding love and affection because why would anyone want that shit if that's what it entails? Didn't even realize why I was doing it. Now even as an adult I have a very difficult time with any form of intimacy. Even just building deeper platonic relationships is hard. Fucking forget sex. My record for longest time I've dated someone is less than a month.

Oh, except I kick into abused kid mode whenever anyone gets sexually pushy. So like autopilot where I just go along with it and the idea I can say "no" doesn't even register. That, in turn, made me easy prey for future rapists.

So yeah, thanks for ruining my life in preschool dad.