The secret just did get out, and it has fucked up my life, but it's probably(?) going to get better eventually?

My husband was hitting me. Mostly the abuse was sexual, verbal, and emotional. He would rape me routinely, belittle me constantly, calling me stupid and incompetent. I never realized how often he hit me until it got so bad I removed our toddler and I had to get a restraining order. She was starting to become aware of the abuse and I realized it was no longer a healthy environment for her. I made him promise he would get therapy but he got a divorce lawyer instead. I warned him it wasn't going to work out in his favor but he seemed to believe differently. He accused me of substance abuse and being "unbalanced". Ironically he produced the police report detailing when he assaulted me with broken glass last year thinking that because he'd called the cops on me for breaking the bowl that absolved him of the assault and proved I was crazy.

Everyone has found out. And our lives - as they were - all our hopes and dreams are pretty much down the toilet. We're probably going to have to sell our house. So much for traveling - as a single mother just now re-entering the workforce I'll never be able to afford to for years. Hopefully no one gets injured and we end up financially crippled... Meanwhile, he is now convicted of domestic violence and has a sexual abuse charge against him as well. He will never get custody of his child, he lied to the police, he kept saying "Everything needs to be in writing" and then would send me violent threats in text. He destroyed his life. And for some reason, I tried to cover for him. I didn't want everyone to know. As long as we were together I had leverage - I could calm him down. But, now, he has nothing to lose. I don't know if he's going to kill me, if he's going to kill himself. I don't know if he'll burn the house down. I have no idea what he will do. I didn't want all our dreams to go up in smoke like this. I wanted him to get counseling. I was hoping we could get marriage counseling, I figured we'd eventually get divorced, but that may be we could get counseling and do it amiably. But, when he threatened to kill me, all chance of that went out the window... I had no choice but to tell everyone everything. Now I and my toddler are living in the unfinished basement of the house he and I bought jointly that my mother rents from us. We're not even sure if we can stay her for the winter because we can't afford the foundation repairs...

I'm told that things are going to get better and that it can't be worse than when we were together, and they're not wrong, but this stinks.