-- Do you ever randomly remember some embarrassing stuff you said and beat yourself up over it?

Why, yes, I do. Too often. And I am 64, so I have a lot of embarrassing stuff I can remember. Also lots of regrets....why didn't I do X, why did I do Y? I can't believe I did this thing, I am so humiliated at the memory.

I hurt this person, that person hurt me, how how I affected others negatively? Why, I hardly know where to start most times. Stuff I totally forgot will suddenly come back to me from years ago and I just feel so bad and dumb and I just want to punch my stupid face. Or it might be something that just happened this week. There are so many options to choose from. This is how we learn social skills, sometimes. lol

I wonder how God can stand to see all that we do.

But then I remember that these memories are of things too late to change, but thinking about them is okay because it can keep me humble, show me my mistakes, and help me remember to be wiser in future. This is a place wisdom comes from.

And these torturous thoughts come from my basic desire to do what is right. If I did not care, I would be sleeping peacefully. But I do care and that is absolutely crucial. Only psychopaths, narcissists, and suchlike are not bothered by such regrets.

Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living. I think he meant you have to go through this process you describe.