I really love these thoughts! I really don't agree with the idea that you have to have sex with someone before you get married or engaged. The whole "try before you buy" mentality.

First, that treats sex like a commodity. When in reality, a healthy relationship is built on companionship, effort, and emotional intimacy. Sex is important, but without those things, it's hollow. It's gratification, not expression. You don't need to live in a house for six months before you buy it. You don't need to drive a car for a year before you buy it.

If you put in the time and effort, you know what you want, you properly research, when you find the right house, you buy it! You can have a healthy, thriving sex life, even if the first time you have it is the wedding night. Sex is a skill, it takes practice, but with great chemistry, communication, emotional intimacy, and an investment of time and energy, you can be successful regardless of circumstances.

And having sex before commitment does not improve the quality of that commitment, in fact, much research I've seen shows it actually increases the chance of the relationship dissolving.

If you want to take this even bigger, I think this cultural shift also shows a lack of "soft" skills. In the United States at least, we put a huge focus on academic and technical skills, salaries, consumerism, etc. At least in many of my peers (mid 20's) there is a HUGE deficit of basic communication skills. Of empathy, emotion identification, clear communication, and so on. We have many adults with attachment issues, and I think that all effects how we relate to one another. And contributes to the lack of successful relationships and marriages, which has in turn contributed to a general turning away from the institution and the resulting changes in the sexual marketplace.

Anyway, got a soapboxy there. Waiting till marriage (or engagement) isn't what everyone wants, and that's fine. But it's a totally valid option, and one that offers many protections, to women in particular.