Just make sure you don't drop her and run away when you see a behavior that looks scary, that you've never seen before and don't know what the fuh.

It's all nice and lovely when their feeling docile and quiet and you want to draw her out of herself toward you and she complies even though she is probably terrified. You probably know that though. That's why it is such a lure to want to promise to be there and to listen and protect her. It feels so nice to help vulnerable people, to feel needed.

But don't abuse that someone might want to need you but that is really hard because experience. Vulnerability isn't all dim lights and soft voices. oh no.

There might be monsters. Sometimes they cause a ruckus and everyone freaks and reacts and does it all over again.

Until that one person who comes along and says, "Me! Pick me! I want to do this with you for as long as possible.

Even during the other vulnerable times where we can be real aholes to each other and ourselves? I will let you help me if you you let me, help you. Not as helpless or weak but as vulnerable and motivated to support each other through changes ~at least for a while, before deciding to end that connection and all efforts to collaborate are exhausted.

Sorry so long winded, here. But you asked. These are my thoughts and this is an important topic, for me. My ideal or way to be, negotiated with someone so important that you want to help them all the time. Which is wonderful! But be caeful.

They still have to carry themselves through their life. It would be better to be an empowering force in their life by just being present through their journey. They don't always have to talk about what happened. Though it is important to know that something incredible changed their lives for worse. I hated writing that... Changed their lives forever. Their future completely altered and erased. That is a lot to carry and bring into life relationships whether they choose to or not. Help lighten the load ~not weight it down any more with your over-keen worry and concern for their well-being. You'll have crap days do and be a jerk and want support but not know how to say that. You spit venom and a tif or worse, ensues.

Trying so hard to get things out of people takes us away from just being with each other. Focus too often on fixing when someone is down in the dumps, rather than simply witnessing and holding space where they are safe to get through to the other side where they feel better. It is way easier to be successful at this when partners who are helping their wounded loved ones don't treat their troubled moments like a problem that needs to be fixed. Sure, it's a problem and it needs to be fixed but not necessarily on your terms.

But absolutely have boundaries. To me, what I read in your post is that you are pushing too hard for her to open up to you when she has literally told you that she did not want to. You really pushed and she has alreay told you an awful lot! You keep asking for more of her story when she is already giving more than she believes she should. Likely afraid you will run away when one day she tells you one of the secrets that gave her that scar you saw on her body that you hadn't seen before. Scared that on that day you will run as far as you can because that was just too much. So she tries to slow herself down but she likes you and doesn't want you to leave. so she gives in and tells you things she isn't yet ready because you push.

Now I am going on way too long abou this but oh well. I bet if you called her up and were chipper and light when you were still really trying to woo her... well now that you know you have her, keep wooing her. Invite her to play a game like exquisite corpse or hangman or tic tac toe. Ask her to sit still for a few minutes while you do an eyes closed line drawing of her her sillouette. Tell some stories that you made up. Play scrabble. Have some a lot of fun.

find a nice balance for each other. It doesn't always have to be about making the sad partner happy! They probably are happy because oh my goodness they get to have you be their special one! But sometimes the sadness just looks bigger because it makes our faces look weird and hides the awesome feelings we have for you.

Chill. Be cool. Do what you love. Keep doing that more. Invite her along.

I Love when a person says, "Hey I'm going to see a thing and would love your company. I can meet you at this place before the thing so we can go together. If you're available, I'd like that."

Then get the deets about the thing and getting there and what.

tangents. wow.

good luck bro! It is great you are asking important questions. Relationships are a lot to deal with and combine that with learning how to relate to ourselves!

okay bye now.