Having lived as a white woman in places where white women and/or lighter-skinned local women are considered preferred partners in some ways (more sexually liberated, more earning potential, more independent etc), I have a slightly different take. While I guess it is sort of racist in that it's racially driven, I see it more as a knock-on effect of the type of structural and societal racism that favours and exalts being white. Imagine living in a context where many people, deep down, see people other than you as a superior partner. Wouldn't you feel inferior, attacked, misunderstood, defensive? And if you felt those things, mightn't you feel inclined to lash out at the type of person they think is so much better than you? I'm not saying you need to put up with it - if people treat you badly, by all means go low or no contact with them - but I would encourage you to see this less as being the butt of a cruel joke by them and more as a sad division inflicted on you all by the legacy of eras past.