I think some idols are held to an unnecessary high bar for some stupid, insignificant things. But then less so for major offences.

This. I think you summarised it perfectly.

There is also a middle ground where holding them accountable is rather subjective and dependent on the fan’s moral values (which can differ). There I see a push-and-pull of perspectives and sometimes find people can be pushy about forcing others to take problem with the idol even tho in their perspective, there is no offence committed and vice versa. I think there is always a lot of nuance to alot of these controversies that go unnoticed which is counterproductive to the concert of having this kind of conversation itself.