Ive lived with it for 10 years now. I allowed it to ruin a marriage, alienate my friends and family, self medicated (binge drinking), sought professional help, group therapy, anti depressants, etc. It ruled my life until I chose to take control back. Im not healed. But I endure. When I can't run I walk when I can't walk I crawl but I get through it. My biggest help has been a "battle Buddie" eight years ago I met a guy in my group therapy while I was working through my medical retirement. For some reason or another we clicked. Even though he is halfway across the country I could call him right now at 1:30 in the morning and he would answer. On the bad days those calls happen. We talk about it, or something else, or just sit there in silence after the hello sometimes. We have dragged each other out of our worst times when the easy way out looks really tempting. I got my scars from a submarine crash, he got his over in the sand box but the pain is the same. I have been med free for 6 years, he's still on them, I only drink when my little brother is home from deployments now. I have since remarried and put my life back together. I still have nightmares once a week or so, the hyper vigilance is a constant companion. There are still those days every couple of months that it really gets to me. He's there to pick me up when those days happen. On boards like this you get the sense that you aren't alone but having that one friend who really shares your pain always on call goes so much further. If I could describe my "recovery" from ptsd it has been that conscious choice to not let it run my life. Its a choice I have to make everyday. Know that what works for some people may not work for you. That's OK, stick with us. Keep trying. It may be with you for the long haul, but it doesn't have to be the one at the wheel. It gets easier as time goes on there are days that go by now when it doesn't come barging into my life. Godspeed brother. You are not alone.