this will get buried but oh well. its greentext because I originally told this story to 4chan. here goes
alright /b/ its story time.
be me, 19 years old, sophomore universityfag huge stoner weedislyfe.gif spring semester of school coming up decide to study abroad in italy couple of my friends had signed up before me seemslegit.jpg have leftover scholarship money should cover the airfare and first month or so of rent/boarding parents totally against it dad ex military, warns me of the perils of going abroad as a young virginfag lol im still a teenager comeatmebro.png tried lots of drugs freshman year (shrooms coke molly etc.) totally down to party in europe with my bros and fuck bitches fuck my parents, I know everything book tickets online and register for classes at University of Sannio right outside of Naples, huge drug/rave scene according to bros couple days before me and the bros go on a drug hunt not getting on a plane sober (and just in case we cant find a connect after we land) acquire heroic amounts of MDMA and coke, a quarter of nug, and a smorgasbord of pills at airpot quarter of dro and a gram of molly in my nutsack superbro has an ounce of miley cyrus in his gootch, and roxis in his shoes walk up to first security checkpoint sweating bullets put carry ons through the conveyor belt and walk thru x-ray/metal detector no beeps, no raised eyebrows GOTAWAYSAFELY.webm sleep most of the flight arrive at Naples international airport walk thru customs present passports how long do you plan to be here, what is the purpose of your visit blah blah blah pokerface as fuck, italian customs officer mean muggin me hard though asks me to please step aside and stand on the big red X of shame metal detetor wand, no beeps still straightfaced as fuck bitch im ice cold watch bros get waved on through god dammit why me "right this way sir" follow customs bitch down this akward smelling hallway, only wearing my carry-on backpack nothing in the backpack, just a death sentence's worth of narcotics under my scrotum go into "INTERVISTA" (interview) room officially losing my shit inside, still trying to play it cool know im pretty fucked if they search me and find my stash another woman in the interview not in uniform sitting in chair, looks muslim or something like that other woman being searched for trying to smuggle illegal pets into the country bitch had a jar of insects or some shit she's hysterical, screaming in towelhead language inbetween sobs WTF hopefully crazybitch bin laden will take some attention away from me the two guards that walked me down the hallway have now diverted their attention to crazybinladen and her weird jar of bugs apparently smuggling critters into europe is a huge no no everyone yelling in what seems to be three different languages (arabic, italian, and broken english) standing as still as possible trying to appear uninterested still thoroughly wigging the fuck out as soon as all eyes are off me I make my move casually turn around and open the door slowly just as I do, another jar falls out of the muslim bitches waist band of her hammer pants all my WTF this bitch is fearless winged critters fly all over the room about face right the fuck back around to the door ladyguard notices my sly escape attempt "FREEZE AMERICAN!" So I put my hands up They're playing my song, The butterflies fly away I'm noddin' my head like yeah Movin' my hips like yeah