I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. You seem to be proactive and responsible, taking the problem into your own hands; good for you. But I don't think taking it harshly is the best approach. In the face of disgust and having our boundaries violated, a possible reaction, specially for people like you and me who've been traumatized (through mine has been only emotional), is to take it upon yourself and do something to limit your behaviors and emotions. I suggest instead of being ina a reactive state, meditate and journal a bit on your emotions, let the anxiety go and lose its control over you, then act responsively. You can then explore your options creatively. Based on your description, an option which addresses the lack of boundary and does so with minimal harshness on your side. I hope you find a healthy way to deal with this and get better.
BTW, I'm not a therapist or anything of sorts, so professional help is definitely advised.