I'm sorry you went through it too. It's a really hard thing to get over. With me, I did a few mistakes, a few wrong things, and beat myself up over it for years. I would think "but if I hadn't done x they wouldn't have done y", or "their response was perfectly normal because I did something wrong."

It took me years to realize that no, that wasn't normal and that most people would not react to my mistakes in the way my abusers did. I accepted responsibility for what I had messed up on in a way of "okay that's a learning lesson and I won't do that again". I put the full responsibility on my abusers for their reaction.

It's something I don't see talked about much though: when you are abused for a mistake or something you genuinely messed up on. It took me a long time to learn that victims are imperfect and flawed just like everybody else.

I think the similarities to my own abuse are why I blew up so much at this. Deep down I'm still so angry about what happened to me.