Hey, no problem, man. Happy to hash things out.

If you don't mind, I just had one more thought come to mind. You mentioned some things in other comments like

Namely, how can I know I am experiencing the interaction with them in the same way they are experiencing their interaction with me? What if I feel like there's something missing, it's like my every move was calculated, like everything I do I do because I know I'm supposed to and not because I want to. What if I'm pathologically unable to be sincere?

Like, obviously I'm not a psychologist, but it seems like you're really committed to believing that your problems are essential to your core being.

One thing I kind of want to point out is that we can't really separate mental health from material reality. Like, yeah, there could be some people who are just inherently "wired" to not feel empathy or something, but I'm pretty sure just from your interactions on here that isn't the case with you.

A lot of these anxieties might be less 'inherent' than you'd think, and if you had been brought up in a different society, with a different values system, you might be a completely different person.

I don't know. This is bigger than any pithy internet advice I can offer. Still, I hope you find a way through life that works for you, even if it doesn't match up with what people expect from you.