I lost one of my older brothers due to a fractured skull from a fall, while he was homeless and living on his own in a wooded area near an industrial park.

He had struggles with mental illness and alcoholism, and because of that combo, you could not live with him, which is why he was living in the woods. We never knew about that since he was so secretive (Classic sign of alcoholism, after all.), and most of the time, he would ask Dad to drop him off at a library.

Before his remains were discovered nearly a couple of years ago, we declared him missing when we learned that he did not show up for a court hearing for a DUI.

I never fully cried at his funeral, and I am pretty sure I went into a "keep it together" mode throughout the whole thing, so I could be strong for my Dad and my family. It wouldn't be until months later that it all hit me at once, and I cried hard to myself in bed the next year late at night, knowing that I'll never see him alive, again.

After his death, our family suffered two more sudden losses in the form of two close family friends. Couple that with struggles in my dating life, crushes being taken when I was too much of a wuss to ask them out, being denied a government job because of my own stupidity and nerves in the interview, and the fact that the last older sibling in my family got engaged, leaving me the last one in my family single and not taken, (Used to be a huge focus in my life before I started to recover. It's not so much a problem nowadays, thank God.), I broke down hard. I went to a counsellor to talk it all through, and while I let go of a lot of built up baggage, I sadly also starting to drink heavily around the time too, much like my late brother did.

Thankfully, things have turned around. I managed to get diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder because of the drinking and the trauma. I was eventually put on an SSRI, which conditioned me to stop drinking heavily because the hang overs were awful. I realize nowadays that what I was doing was not right, and in all honesty, I don't really like drinking that much, nowadays. My anxiety is also being kept at bay, and I would honestly say that it is dead! I also joined a choir, sung in front of 500+ people on back to back nights for a Christmas concert, I moved to a new city and starting living with roommates, I graduated from my program with distinction and am looking for work in the field, and I have a job for the time being at a grocery store, which I got all by myself without any help from family!

Folks, please remember that whatever happens in your life, whether it's positive or negative, is temporary. This too shall pass, after all. Remember to tell your family that you love them each and every day, unless your relationship with them is damaging to you. You have no idea how much I would love to say I love my brother right now to him.

Remember that life is short, that you can work through the bad times as long as you never, ever give up. I know now that if I ever go through a similar hell like this again, I will be better prepared for it, as I will look back at this tragedy and know that I can do this.

And for the love of God, please talk to your family and friends about problems and don't silent them with unhealthy and dangerous vices, like alcohol. You're just going to go down a very bad path, one that I am glad I did not go fully on.