Purchased a brand new, off the plan, townhouse. Moved in. The first morning we were awoken by the sound of 100 cockatoos all over our backyard and roof. Thought it was because there was a nice big tree in the backyard. Went to take a look at the tree, measure how tall it was to prep to cut, while I was on the ladder I noticed the neighbour (next block over, also townhouses but share a fence) had a tarp up with bird seed all over it.
Saw him walking around the backyard so I introduced myself and he responded with "fuck off". I told him there was no reason to be rude and wanted to know if he was going to constantly feed the birds, he told me every morning and every evening and that I should just leave.
The following morning we were awoken by 100 cockatoos and the sound of his wife hurling the most foul abuse over the back fence I have ever heard a human utter... for 30 minutes she rants "you fucking cunts, greasy immigrants, go back to your country, you're a filthy whore"... most of them aimed at my wife.
Worst thing was my wife had just given birth and was on the second week of her year long maternity leave when we moved in. It was a nightmare. I called the cops the following day, they told me there was nothing they could do about the birds and that if she threatens us then we should call them back. She was smart not to threaten... just verbally abuse us.
I called our local council and after months of no help, managed to get the attention of the State Health department who sent someone out. That was nice, but for 6 months he came over... saw the birds... spoke with the neighbours and asked them to stop and they never did.
Close to 8 months since we moved in, every day we deal with 100 cockatoos at 6AM and 100 cockatoos at 4PM for 2 hours... shitting everywhere, waking us all up (including an infant child) and every morning the abusive wife going at it for 30 minutes.
I would have loved nothing more than to spill petrol all over their backyard late at night and lit those fuckers on fire, I cannot express to you what goes through your head at times of desperation. Selling wasn't an option for us financially... we were stuck.
One day, 8 months in, she threatens our lives. I just so happened to be video recording her from a back windows. Called the cops, they told her to stop and she stopped the abuse. Birds still fucked us over but at least we can live without being called cunts on the daily.
Christmas Eve, she's in her backyard late at night and decides she will arc up again... I'd had enough and was going to nip it in the bud I decided. So I jump up on the back fence and told off straight to her face. I didn't swear or get angry, I just genuinely told her "we were a young couple, 23 years old with a baby and a mortgage... we said anything wrong against you... we haven't even spoken to you and we have accepted all your hatred and abuse for months. Do you think that what you are doing is right?" and she just stopped dead. Looked me straight in the eye, apologised, said it won't happen again and walked inside.
I was dumbfounded.
The bird feeding hadn't stopped however, so we went around to all the neighbouring houses front and back... ended up getting 44 signatures on a document asking council to do something about the birds. Turns out, all of a sudden, the IS actually a law here that states you can't feed native wild birds. So the local wildlife rangers were called and paid the neighbours a visit... I was warned because they knew about the abuse and just advised that if it reoccurs following the visit then to contact the police. That night, while we were watching a movie, there were 3 loud knocks at the door.
I knew it was the husband, so I confidently opened the door and stepped outside. He proceeded to tell me that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table.