I wanted to become an astrophysicist when i was in std 8-9 because i was interested in space and stuff. Somebody told me that i should try to get into IITs. I did go to an older IIT and completed my undergrad in Aerospace engineering somehow. I lost interest in whatever they were teaching pretty early on. Felt like i wasn't cut out to become an engineer as i was more interested and comfortable with theory and not in applying those theories on machines. I don't know exactly what it meant and it could have been just an excuse. Like they say grass is always greener on the other side. Got depressed in the middle. Grades kept falling to the extent they were only a former shadow of what i used to get. Wanted to ditch the whole thing but the family insisted. So i stayed for their sake.

I think i was very much immature for the stage i was in and very much inexperienced. Ofc having a social anxiety didn't help. I had absolutely no idea what to expect and what growing up involved.

I pretty much do nothing now. Being rudderless and without any passion are the worst thing in the world.