How long does it generally take for someone you have told you are asexual to get over it?

I felt guilty about utterly lying to him when he asked if I was interested in dating him if he wasn't dating a girl.

So... You came out to your friend after previously telling him you were interested? Was this in public/in front of your other friends? If so he's totally justified in feeling hurt.

If you told him privately, he's probably just embarrassed. Possible reasons:

  • he feels bad that you lied to protect his feelings

  • he thinks your coming out is another lie to protect his feelings

  • he is embarrassed to have read you wrong

  • he feels inadequate for not being an exception to your asexuality

  • he was really invested in a date with you and doesn't know what to say now because he totally planned on his crush being mutual

  • he's not used to being around anyone who isn't 100% straight and feels awkward

  • he's being dumb, doesn't handle rejection well, and takes it super personally

I would give him a few days and then message something like "Hey, sorry about the other day. I wasn't ready to come out to you before, but I really like you and wanted to do the right thing and not lead you on. Now that you know, can we still be friends?"

/r/asexuality Thread