NOBODY KNOWS THIS.

My ex and I were having major problems and fights around 4 months ago. She is the love of my life and I definitely treated her to the best of my ability. Many saw how i treated her and they, themselves, say i treated her way too good. I literally did so much for this girl. Some context, I love this woman and she claims to love me. We were together for almost 3 years. Throughout those years, we were on and off a couple times. We broke up twice because she ended it and me once. She would lie to me in the beginning, didnt respect me, and would mistreat me. We were once off for a month, second time was a month and a half, and last for 3 months, after the 3 months we were together for 8 months with little to no problems. Her family hates me for false reasons and my ex knew that. I hated that they hated me for no reason and it seemed like she did nothing to fix this problem. She did treat me good at times but looking back, she could have treated me better.

Anyways, 4 months ago, she was mistreating me extremely bad. We fought for a week straight and the troublesome part of the whole thing was that she was graduating during all this. I had many plans to be with her throughout her graduation week but she slowly was excluding me from it and continued mistreating me. I took a sacrifice and called a break because i didn't want to fight that week and i was already excluded from all her events.There were legitimate reasons for some of them(like her family) but some were just off. Well, some how or another, my friend convinced me to go to a strip club to blow off steam, in which i did. I went and did just that. But I ended up getting a handy in the strip club private room. That was all. Nothing else after that. The next day, i contacted her because i was calmed but she continued to mistreat me. Again, i said "i guess the coming back from the break was a mistake" but at that point i thought about what kind of break we were on and what rules were to be applied. So i asked her to drop the break but she insisted on it continuing. Now it was her break so I was sure to ask for the rules. Her response, "You know what i like and what i don't like, I know what you like and what you don't like. So we will keep that respect." This was the morning of a night she was suppose to go to a party that her classmates threw. I was suppose to go as well but right before the fights she was telling me i might not go because she wasn't friends with many people, it would be her and her best girl friend so she told me that she didn't want her friend feeling like a third wheel and maybe i shouldn't go. So i respected. Well, the break continued. I put my trust in her. The next day, i called her because her graduation was coming around and i didn't want to be on a break during that. But that morning i was looking through snap and a friend of mine was there. I saw in his snap, in the background, my girlfriend(ex now) dancing with a guy which was her ex.(DIRTY DANCING, she was completely sober but he was high) i couldn't believe it. I asked her if she did anything at the party and she assured me nothing happened. I asked her again but this time i was more serious and told her she had one more chance and she could lie again or tell the truth. She half assed the truth and only told me she danced with someone. I asked who and she finally said her ex. She was quiet, no apology no nothing. Until i asked if she even felt bad, and she said "Yea of course, im really sorry." I continued on by wishing her the best and hope she finds happiness . etc etc. all while she was quiet. We ended up meeting a week after and she cried, apologized, and told me the whole story. She not only danced with her ex but also held his hand at the event and even went to the same place as he did to eat with all their classmates after the party. I was told no kisses or anything else happened after that one night. She told me she was going to continue as normal with me and just hoped id never find out. Everything dropped, no contact for a month. Until she messaged me a month later. I gave her another chance to show shes changed cuz again, i treated her soo good but she would mistreat me and take me for granted. After the first week of everything going great, she went straight back to how she was in terms of hurting me, and mistreating me. Obvious trust issues. But it ended.

Well my secret is that I technically cheated on her first unless my 'break' with no rules discussed doesnt count. But I was actually being nice to her and trying to resolve it after as she wasnt. The problem is i believe in karma. I see my ex around sometimes and we have mutual friends that all know she cheated on me. So if i told my ex what i did the night before her cheating that i cheated then it can cause a shit storm. Im actually going to see her at a party on friday. I do miss her and i do love her. And judging from her friends, she still misses me a lot and regrets what she did as well as still loves me. And if anyone cares, Should i tell her what i did?