double relays to control the positive to the High and low beam positive connections.. these come on with the ignition key on the positive side . or you could turn them on with the headlight switch or flash to pass making a ground. still having pin 85 powered by the ignition switch so they go off when you shut off the engine.

you can then use any ground on the ground terminal of the bulbs to complete the circuit..

so you could have the flash to pass make a ground..

you could have the headlight switch make a ground thru the dimmer switch

you could have your DRL system with resistors to cut down the current to create your DRL mid brightness beams. this could have a relay controlled by the ignition switch.

most systems also.. use a parking brake applied switch.. to turn off the DRL. . so when you have the engine running. but the parking brake is on.. the relay powering the Negative controlled relay for the ground side to the DRL resistor... you need to have a the relay turn off the DRL switch when the headlight switch pulls to ground..

i don't know if i helped.. or just confused you. so you are looking at 5 or 6 relays. low beams are usually 50 watts.. so that is 100W for 2 low beam bulbs. so you are going to need a serious resistor to cut down the voltage. and some way to cool it.