That's your unique situation. Okay so your kid only gets to use his phone when you need 1 on 1 time with your SO. That's not the case for everyone everywhere.

Lots of kids get to use an iPhone or iPad, or even have their own to use whenever they want. I know kids whose parents let them watch cartoons before school, during their lunch, and after school until dinner time. I also know kids who only watch an hour or two a week at most, and who are rarely allowed to use their parents phones and never for games.

The difference between each extreme is night and day. The TV all day kids are boring as fuck. They complain about having to do anything that isn't sitting in front of the TV. They only talk about the media they consume and don't have any interesting takes on anything.. the non TV kids have great imaginations, one of them, a 10 year old, started writing a novel because she loves story telling, they often set up a play or some kind of act and rehearse it and get the adults to watch them, all on their own initiative with no one telling them to do it. They're visibly more creative and more connected to the world they live in.

Now you may have felt targeted by such comments because you let your child use your phone like a babysitter, but don't go around assuming every experience is exactly the same as yours. In my example the TV all day kids have both their grandmothers to look after them while their parents work regular and comfy 9-5 jobs, whereas the non TV kids parents are struggling to make ends meet, work long hours, and have no one nearby to look after the kids for them when they want to be alone. Everyone manages differently. ITT most people are taking anecdotal evidence from their personal lives including my own examples, but it adds up to a picture you don't seem to like. Try to take it less personally, and I'm sorry things are difficult for you. Hope it gets better.