Same. First time trying any psychedelics and we tried acid - took four tabs and boy oh boy I wasn't on earth for the majority of that night, I remember clearly shooting up into space and then all of a sudden I saw my family on a bunch of pillars, floating in the sea of empty space. All of a sudden, each member's (starting with my sister, then mother, then father, then grandparents (age order)) pillar dropped out from underneath them, and then plummeted down into the dark depths, until there were no family members left. We wanted to smoke while tripping so we were all in our dorm suite bathroom for this part of the trip. I think being in a confined space with no windows may have made me think more internally rather than about what was happening in the moment, perhaps causing that rocketship-like adventure to space to where I would think about what is ultimately the most important thing in the world to me - family.

I still feel like i'm not the same person, but I am so much of a better person because of the Ego death. I lost all my stuck-uppitiness and kind of chilled out a bit. High school and middle school were purely academics and sports, there was nothing else besides training and studying that I would do during the week, and on the weekends hanging with friends. as our school is still one of the most competitive private schools in the country, its also home to some of the most competitive people in the world - Cutthroat east coast Ceo's, bankers, and lawyers - fostering an environment that truly is like nothing I have seen elsewhere. The school board meetings were some of the harshest environments I have ever been in, teachers dreaded meetings with parents - especially big donors.

In this environment and time of furious commotion in my life there was little time for self reflection in the way of deep introspection. There was only time for thinking with the mentality of "What are you, on paper, and how can you be the best 'person', on paper, possible?" My private HS is easily harder than the college I attend right now (came to play varsity sport), so after the first few semesters I was cruising and really thinking more and more about my life, and the trip was right at the peak of that thought bubble I had been in for a couple months. It not only burst the bubble, but helped me understand so much about the world based upon my own lifes experiences, how I had been to foreign countries since fifth grade and have been taking friends' private jets to go skiing on the private mountains - and HOW that was made possible, from my father to my grandfather to the dawn of mankind - it's all fucking nuts, and I truly realized HOW FUCKING NUTS my life was when I could take a step back and evaluate it from a different point of view. I am easily one of the most privileged people I know, and I truly am grateful for that. From a young age I've always cruised around golf clubs during summers - biking from my house to the club with my friends and enjoying the air conditioned squash courts while dining on food I didn't even have to pay for (dad did, but I just had the pin number). Prices weren't even on the menu, you just ordered, and then they charged whatever they charged to your account, it was just expected that everybody was rich enough to not even have to care about minuscule burger and fry pricing that they would even be insulted to have it presented to them. From second/third homes to skipping class to go on a friends yacht for the day, I have experienced several lifetimes worth of fun and games, seen more than I still cannot believe to have seen, received anything I've wanted without so much as a second thought - and it makes me feel amazing to be able to have done all these things, but so, so, so bad that not everyone is able to. It was shifting to this mentality that really changed who I was, instead of just assuming everyone was like this and if you weren't "fuck you you're beneath me I don't have time to even look at you".

I have wonderful friends, family (although divorced, mending), teammates, and a pretty interesting life set up ahead for me - the avenues of availability are endless after realizing who i've met in my life and who my grandparents/parents are friends with. Connections among people are truly fascinating and control so much of what is going on in most peoples lives. I spent too much of my childhood focused on what was affecting the things around me, and what would affect the things around me in the future, rather than what I was doing in that moment and what my emotions/feelings were - or even emotions of others during that moment. Now I try to never just "talk" but to question more than you speak, and to really, truly think about what you say and what others say, and how emotion towards another person means so much. I just...understood from that point on. It's been a great day every single day, and I can't wait to have as many as I possible can experiencing this thing we call life ;) Acid provided an alternative point of view, and I understood so much about myself and how little I understood about life.

anyway, sorry for the rant, I took a SHITTON of addy earlier today so im a bit spaced