I grew up with the Adam and Eve story and it directly influences my treatment of husband.
For me (my personal view) each Christian marriage is a recreation of Adam and Eve (pre-fall). I didn't marry for worldly things, I married because I was very lonely and wanted a mate.
I married at age 18 and I was the one who asked my husband to marry me. We lived in the smallest trailer we could afford. We got in debt and had our cars repossessed. We went through years of bad credit and couldn't afford anything financed.
We spent twenty-seven years living in a mobile home. And finally, due to job relocation, purchased a house in 2016. My husband made the decision to relocate and I left a well-paying legal secretary job.
The house was the cheapest we could find in a neighboring town. My husband and I discussed the home budget price. He kept on going higher, but I encouraged lower.
I'm going to tie this in to Adam and Eve. If Adam was the first husband, then Eve was the first wife. Eve was made from Adam and for Adam. Eve was Adam's helper and as such I strive to be a helpmate.
When my husband made the final decision to relocate, and he did discuss it with me, that was my opportunity to show if I truly respected him as my husband. And would I help him or hinder him.
Once it was decided, I helped by providing him support with my show of confidence in his decision. I expressed anxiety about the move, but never his decision. Moving is stressful.
I participated in the home selection. I further helped by reminding him that I didn't care to live in the more expensive neighborhoods that his co-workers recommended. In fact I suggested another mobile home, but land prices plus mobile home made it an unwise investment. I helped him by not pressuring him to commit to a high mortgage payment which would put undue stress on him.
I could have cried and been emotional when my husband made the decision to relocate, but that would have been manipulative and not befitting of Eve (pre-fall). He would have said no to the move, but I had to do what was best for him and help him make the right decision, even at the cost of my own job. That is what a helpmate does.
A woman may desire a husband for many things. I wanted someone to love me and someone I could love. The Mercedes doesn't impress me. The big house without love is worthless.
And for physical desire, I apparently have a different take on that as well. I strive to see my husband as a whole person with feelings and emotions, similar to me but not as influenced as me. I have a sexual desire for him because of his positional relationship to me.
I can think about the term husband and become aroused. I sort of thought this was common in Christianity but I see I am wrong on that. So my understanding of what a husband is produces physical desire.
We have both aged and he has gained weight. I too gained weight but lost down to five pounds within my marriage weight. This has no influence on my sexual desire for him because I see him as a gift to be treasured.
The above combIned with the scriptures stating that my body is his and his is mine tells me that sex is good. He initiates and I initiate. I imagine that Adam and Eve freely initiated as well.
To help my husband sexually, I remind him that I am open to sex. I don't phrase this in terms of rights, but remind him that I am open to multiple types of sex (no foreplay quickie, slow, fast, gentle, and other forms).
I do this because it benefits him and it cements my bond further. I also take pressure off of him by taking responsibility for my orgasm and let him know, that while climax is nice, sometimes I want him to use me in a primal fashion. He is a very considerate man, but I want him to experience his primal desire without having to worry about me. This is not to be confused with duty sex because it isn't. I really enjoy his display of masculinity.
All of this is possible because of the Christian marital tradition I have inherited. I wish more women would understand that sex helps seal the bond and there is a reason that the Bible specifically says that married sexual activity can only be temporarily stopped by mutual consent and for good reason.
Then years later we moved up to the trailer park. And, no this is not a bad country son