We don't admonish men for being "ass men" or "tit men" the same way, because they aren't saying "small asses/tits are gross and make me want to wretch just thinking about them because they look like disgusting lunch meat". I've heard that about my pussy. And having a small penis is often seen as something unfortunate on this sub, for sure. But it's not "vile" or "revolting" or because of any "bad" or "wrong" or "shameful" decisions the guy made. There's a difference between pity and revulsion. Maybe that doesn't make a difference to you, or seem like it should make a difference to you, but it does to a lot of people. Knowing that someone feels sorry for me because I don't have a "beautiful innie" and instead have "big protruding labia" (both your phrases) is a lot easier to handle than knowing that I make them "physically sick" because they think my pussy "looks like a tumor" or that my lips are "gross" and that I "deserve nothing but shame." (All comments I have gotten online.)

So yes, a dose of honesty is fine. I've told most women that are concerned about their lips that yes, some folks will not like their lips. That's the truth. Not everyone is attracted to everyone, that's fine. That's not negative. Talking about different opinions is fine, but those conversations don't always go well. Even your comments about "beautiful innies" vs. "big protruding labia" make it clear what you really think - "protruding" isn't typically associated with sexiness, ya know? ;)

Anyways, I'm not here to change your opinion. My point is just mainly that it isn't about protecting the fragile egos of women who can't handle not being beautiful to everyone. It's about fostering a sense of self-acceptance in a world where women are already told they aren't pretty/thin/curvy/tall/dainty/sexy/whatever enough and that only women with "perfect" bodies are sexually attractive and desirable. So to add to that not only a lack of acceptance for their genitals but often an aversion to them isn't okay. Even joking comments or poorly phrased comments about "roast beef" can be hurtful.

I know that I open myself up to trolls because I post naked pictures online, and I cannot count the number of times I've gotten "funny" comments about "I'm thinkin' Arby's", but there are women who are simply reading those comments or hearing them said about other women/porn stars etc. and thinking "wait, my lips look like that, am I "gross" too?". Dealing with opinions like "not all guys find X attractive' is fine. But I don't think anyone should have to "deal with" comments that are hurtful. Just like I don't think that men with small or thin penises should have to "deal with" comments about having a "baby dick" or being a "pencil dick". In my (obviously biased) opinion, those seem less commonly accepted than the whole "roast beef" thing though.

And FWIW I've never heard of or seen any posts or comments about anyone being almost physically sick because of how gross or revolting their partner's small penis was. Hygiene issues? Sure. But being disgusted because it was small? Nope. Maybe I just haven't seen those posts though.