I [28/F] am lost after vacation with SO [27/M] to in-laws from different country (warning, SUPER long!)

Thank you so much for your reply! Everything you've said is just so relatable, and I know about feeling unsafe in traffic! In all my life I have never seen so many car crashes as 3 weeks in Turkey! I know from my brother who's been to Eastern Europe that it's also really scary over there, especially when it gets cold like it does out there. And I'm happy you understand how helpless it can feel.

Yes there is a very big difference in religion too .Rose prays 5 times a day, I was raised to believe there is no god of any kind, so there's not just a difference, it probably couldn't be more opposite. I do have some family members that go to church, and I did get educated about different religions at school, so I wasn't completely oblivious to what it means to people, I can respect it, and my boyfriend would want to pass on his religion in our children too. I'm not that interested in making religion a big part of my life, and I don't have a lot of confidence that he will really persue that because in 8 years I've know him he has prayed maybe 5 times total if I'm overreacting LOL. For him religioin is more about being a good person, rather than praying or fasting and that's what I like about his way of believing and he can pass that on ALL he wants :) And if my child would get a comfortable feeling that he or she will live on in heaven or paradise or whatever it may be, I would love that too.

What is it with these hardcore grannies? My boyfriends grandmother was also really strong with everything she'd been through. She gave birth to one of her children alone, outside D: She had also lived on a farm with animals and a toilet outside. In Holland there are of course plenty of poor people but overall Holland is a wealthy country and it's a whole different kind of poor. It's way worse in Turkey and it can be pretty hard to look at.

Yes, it feels overwhelming. May I ask how often you've been there and how is your relationship with her relatives? Can it really be a good relationship, or is there always a sort of distance? Can you really get to know each other?

I think a neutral location would be perfect but Rose prefers being at home and complains a lot if she's outside because she's uncomfortable and doesn't trust any food she didn't make herself because it's not clean. I also don't want to be in his families' house. That makes you a guest and then I feel I have to repay them. Next time it would definitely be a hotel, I don't think I can compromise on that anymore.

You have given me some hope AND motivation to put more effort in.

/r/relationships Thread