I present myself honestly, which I see as a dumpster fire but people seem to like. The other parts of growing up with ADHD is that I'm highly empathetic, fascinating in small exchanges and a very good listener (over messaging where I can reread the message lots of times).

Turns out most people are looking for someone real and genuinely nice. For better or worse those are things that I am and I do find many of these engagements over messaging very rewarding.

The anxiety attacks from scheduling physical meetups is another story. But even just seeing the kind of women interested in me has been a huge boon for my own self confidence.

Also lots of people on those apps just say up front they're adhd or neurodivergent. That was also a confidence boost that I don't need to feel shame or hide a part of myself to fit society's mold. We're all different and as long as you aren't going after "basic bitches" you'll find most women are very understanding.