/r/relationships has been really really brutal with me in the past so I don't go there for advice anymore (I am not good with 'tough love,' haha I need..gentleness or something. basically I just want people to be nice to me, even if they disagree with my decisions or think I'm stupid, and that doesn't happen on /r/relationships...they downvote you to hell and they are very judgemental - not saying all of them are, there are nice people too)

You're right that I need to plan, I'm going to start doing that now and take concrete steps forward. Thank you. I don't really have any support network at all so I'm not sure how I'm going to manage this. I have a fucked up life and I kind of feel like I'm fucking it up even more by initiating a break-up. I think maybe it's obvious to other people I need to break up, and it's obvious to me sometimes, but a lot of the time I feel so sick and so worn out and sometimes the warmth of him and the friendship he gives me and the laughter he gives me is all I have. I'm a bit pathetic in a lot of ways, not that I choose to be, I just am really sick basically 24/7 due to illness and I feel like that affects it all. If I were not sick I would feel confident in my ability to break up and start a life on my own, but I can barely support myself (yet I have to support him too even though he's the one with the full-time job...) I don't know.

I've never lived in an apartment/with a roommate before and I have no idea how to do all of this (I know I'm ridiculous) and I don't even know how I will afford it (I hate how money seems to determine everything). I wish I had the energy to do all of this. I'm sorry for venting to you