Then it's no wonder you're so harsh. Goodness, I thought my dad was harsh, when he yelled at me to clean up the mess. My mom would quickly do it, so he wouldn't bark and I never had a clue how to clean my room. It overwhelmed me. Just start giving him small tasks. Teach him to clean. Do it together. I learned how to clean up my mess from my older brother. He just cleaned up my mess and first it was cosy. Then I felt like a lazy bastard, when I saw him bow to pick up my filth and since then did it myself. You can't force the 8 y o to do that. He is as neat as my brother and doesn't want to live in his brother's mess. How does he make mess? I don't think he throws toys all over the place. He eats in his room and dumps the rest on the floor? Then don't let him eat in his room, unless he cleans it up. He throws clothes on the floor? Don't wash them, until he puts them in the laundry basket.