No verdict from me, I just came to say I was that girlfriend who was unemployed. I gained 30lbs as well. What I wanted to ask you was, how much do you know about any of your girlfriends existing or pre-existing mental health issues?
When I got laid off from my job it was my routine that helped me keep together since I have major depressive disorder and I had worked hard to manage it, but when I got laid off I relapsed into probably one of the worse depressive episodes I've ever had. At one point I told my bf that I felt like maybe I needed to be hospitalized, I was scared of the thoughts I was having. Doing basic things became a struggle.
I was inconsiderate of him during that episode, but in the moments I was, I couldn't control what felt like a need that I needed to fill just to keep me from really dark thoughts and feelings.
I think a lot of the comments here don't really show the understanding of what your girlfriend might be suffering to interpret those actions as
just plain inconsiderate, opposed to potentially being in extreme distress and not enough support or coping mechanisms. Be aware that many people get their therapy off of Tik Tok and I can see that language in people's responses here, words like her actions are abusive to you, but I hope you read in and see no actions exist in a vacuum.
That said, in my story, I ended up leaving. I thought we were going to spend our lives together, but at that point I did see my actions as being ones that were horrible toward him, and yes I fell down a rabbit hole but I knew deep down there was a reason that everyone around me made it really easy to dive right in. I had some issues on my end long before I suggested we go to counselling for and that never happened. There were things that he did that were legitimately damaging our relationship as well, but we weren't able to resolve those either. I'm not blaming him, but he wasn't able to give me what was most important to be in a loving relationship and while I loved him for many reasons, that feeling never went away no matter how much I tried to stuff it down. So I moved out because I think we both need to figure out ourselves before there is a future there, not that there is now or will be. Sure I was an 'asshole' during that time, but now that I am recovering I know that I wasn't being myself. If I had been thrown out I'm not sure I wouldn't have been put in some dangerous situations which I know he knew and didn't want that. I think maybe you should both talk to someone or at least get some counselling for yourself if she's not willing to try and figure out how to navigate it. I've cried and said to him I am sorry I am being like this, and his response was, "I know you, and things weren't always like this." But the river is strong sometimes. I had a dream and saw myself with him floating down a river, and I let go. I let the current take me downstream and decided not to try and win against nature.
Don't be too hard on yourself or her. The nature of the pandemic and the stress we're facing globally has taken a toll on a lot of people, and some who are more vulnerable were affected too. Funnily enough I read The Stand right before covid happened, and the second act is basically people who were taken out not by the illness, but by the reactions humanity had to it. All I can say is that these are trying times we're living in so whoever is beside you, needs to be on board. And, you need to figure out as her partner if there is a way you can understand how to help her alleviate the torment that is causing her to stress eat if there's a way to save this. Best of luck.