NTA, his reaction was completely inappropriate.

Some info that may be helpful if you want to continue to reach out to him.

My husband is a vet (US), he doesn't care for people wearing dog tags, civilian or veterans, because he lost people in Iraq and seeing them is a painful reminder to him. He doesn't say anything to them, but he tells me about it later. (He has done a lot of work on his grief, this is one thing I'm not sure he will fully let go of)

Could your friend be reacting this way due to loss? The closer my husband gets to the anniversary he gets more touchy about things. Could your post have been unknowingly upsetting to him in this way? It may be worth reaching out to him to check in, see why it hurts him so.

He may be lashing out because he needs help. (That doesn't make it ok to berate you.)

I only bring this up because I have experience with sudden unexplained emotion from my husband (never violent, but always felt out of the blue), and in reality it was explainable, I just wasn't aware of the underlying issues. After getting help, my husband has been wonderful, and I know what to do to help him now.

Veterans, at least here in the states, have this mentality that asking for help is weak. It's definitely getting better but it's not great. By the time many of them get to a place where they admit needing help, they have burned most of their bridges,(by doing things like this) and feel very hopeless, that even if they get better no one is left anyways.

So anyways, all of this boils down to, it's not ok for him to be an ass, but since you care about him (I suspect you do since you want to make sure you didn't do anything wrong to hurt him), check in that this isn't a cry for help.

Keep doing things and wearing whatever you want to express you love for each other.