Have you considered that gay hubs in cities like LA attract single gay guys? I live in a small Canadian city of 250,000 and every single gay person I know who has moved to Toronto, Montreal, or Vancouver (our gay hubs) has done so for the single / party life. Those who found love eventually either moved back here or moved to suburbs of those cities.
There comes a point in your life and career where the places you live are determined by things beyond being around the gay area. I am not turned off by gay neighborhoods and I don't avoid them but where I live is driven by career, family, and comfort... Being in a gay neighborhood doesn't even make the list I just need to know that where I live is safe for a gay couple.
As for clubs, the reason my partner and I do not go to clubs together is because I am a DJ. When I am in a club I'm working and while he enjoyed coming with me when we were younger it's boring for him and he'd rather stay home or hang out with friends and I totally get that. When I am not DJing I have no interest in being in clubs and prefer cocktail lounges.