Not a female but both my wife (31F) and I (35M) have been down this road. My first question would be do you typically masturbate after intercourse to finally achieve orgasm? If so, I would stop and only allow yourself to come through intercourse. I know that is going to suck but you would probably have to retrain your body to only accept orgasms through intercourse.

I met my wife a little over 4 years ago and the first three or four times we had sex I could not come. I always link back to the fact I was masturbating a lot before so I had pretty much trained myself to only come through masturbation. Once I stopped masturbating completely I then began to orgasm through intercourse and the problem has been solved ever since.

My wife does not always get vaginal orgasms either and sometimes trying to achieve a clitorgasm for her is a huge task.