I have this disconnected feeling towards my sexuality, its there but its not "me" if that makes any sense.

I can really empathize with this. I've been tempted to come out for a long time, but I always decided against it. I know it must sound strange to a lot of gay men, but part of why I don't is because I feel like in coming out, I wouldn't actually be true to myself. My sexuality has never defined me, and it really doesn't enter into my identity. Sometimes I get hung up on the idea of never being able to have a partner or a family, but the truth is that I have a lot of friends, a great social life, a great career, and a very loving family. I'm pretty happy with the way things are. I like that my sexuality isn't an obstacle to male friendships. I like being able to have friends who are conservative Christians as well as friends who are progressive liberals. I don't tell people I'm straight, but as a single man in his early 30s, I let people make their own assumptions. I think it's safe to say I'm being honest with people

Coming out with a change What I have. It would tell people that I think my sexuality is central to who I am, when the truth is that it really doesn't enter into how I define myself. Although some people might argue that I'm not psychologically well-adjusted until I give my sexuality a place they feel it deserves, those people have to contend with the fact that I'm a happy, socially adjusted and caring individual, who is also successful by the average American's standards.

I also don't agree with the person above who said that we shouldn't be afraid of offending our family by coming out. I have some very religious family members. I believe that they're perfectly entitled to their views about the morality of homosexuality. Having a nephew or grandson who is gay doesn't need to change that. And as someone who has a lot of experience inside traditional Christianity, I know that a lot of the sadness and disappointment they would feel in response to me coming out is because they care about my soul, which is actually very selfless and loving, even if some might dismiss it as narrow minded or dogmatic.