WHAT HAPPENED: I am the 2nd oldest sibling in the family. My oldest brother has anger problems but doesn't realizes it and no one ever says anything to him and he always gets mad at the littlest things. He always yells at us ESPECIALLY ME, but you know, we just don't say anything back. He texted the group chat with all our siblings asking if I can pay for dinner for my mothers birthday. I don't have a good job, I don't go to school (yet) and I spent $200 in the past month. One fact about me is that I always complain about money cuz I don't make a lot but I always say it as a joke. But knowing him, he will rage at me, joke or not. So he called me selfish and all I said was calm down, I was gonna pay anyway. But btw everytime he fights with me or my mom, he will bring up the past. SO he was saying "youre a loser, you don't even go to college, idk if youre ever gonna be successful, youre a disappointment." AND BEING ME, I do not get offended by the shit he says. (and I know its true, ive accepted it awhile ago) In my head I was like "wow, he's the oldest, he should be like the role model to me and my younger brothers and no one EVER says anything or talk back because we are afraid or just don't want to deal with it. So I started talking(text)back saying, "at least I'm not a psycho" blah blah. Then my younger brothers were defending ME, because they know that he does have anger problems and sometimes he puts his anger on them too. But everytime they defended me, the oldest brother would take it as a joke.. so not getting mad at them. But if I said the same thing.. he would rage and say I'm so "stupid, a disappointment, etc." But after all that, like iin the middle of the night, his gf texted me saying stuff like "he left, he wanted to drive alone, I think he's hurt about being a bad brother and person." my question is.. Am I wrong for talking back? isn't he basically bullying me? knowing him, I know hes trying to get our younger brothers on his side (that's why he doesnt get mad at them, like he gets mad at me..)
side story; his girlfriend isn't close to her older sister anymore, because 1. she was rude 2. used him 3. my brother said to stay away from him and try to be close with her younger brother, again. (so they got eachothers side against the oldest sister) and so, before she didn't talk to her older brother, HER & THE OLDEST BROTHER were fighting against the YOUNGER brother. so it was always 2 against one and so in my opinion, I feel like my older brother fights with me ALOT more than my little brothers because I know one day, he would want them against me.