3. [serious] What event in your life made you realise you're not as "smart" as you'...

[serious] What event in your life made you realise you're not as "smart" as you'd thought?

I guess part of the reason I am where I am is that I assumed I would just "snap out of it" like you are suggesting and fix my own problems if it ever got bad enough. Unfortunately some people get stuck in self-perpetuating conditions and behavior patterns that create a catch-22 situation about self-improvement; in other words it's not just that I have depression or ADHD but that living that way unknowingly for so long has also deeply influenced the way I behave. The proof is in the pudding, since I am 27 and nothing has changed. That's why I think I need an external stimulus at this point (therapy, medication) to really deal with it. I've "tried" the other method for enough time to realize that.

I accept tough love answers from the internet and I don't take it personally since inevitably, somebody says something like you did. I know it's frustrating for you to watch somebody complain when they "just" need do something. There is also a kind of edgy counter-narrative in our culture about how we need to be harsher to people etc.

What I've noticed about behavioral health is that it doesn't matter where the individual puts the blame. They can blame their condition, their environment/life experiences, or as you are actually suggesting they can blame themselves. Likewise a person empathizing vs. judging said person can have either a positive or negative affect, just depending on that person.

The "just snap out of it" method that you propose for example might motivate someone since they can see themselves as infinitely free and powerful to do what they want. On the other hand, depression doesn't actually work that way. If despite believing in your method they were still unable to break their behavior, they would inevitably blame themselves and engage in a lot of self-hatred, reinforcing the issue even more.

Anyway just sharing my thoughts on this stuff, again I don't take it personally. It helps me just to say these things out loud since I spend a lot of time just sort of pretending shit isn't as bad as it is. I know what I have to do now, just a matter of getting myself to do it.

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