I was forced out of the closet unwillingly, in that someone dug through my entire post history on a different account, and pieced together that this person MIGHT be me. They tipped off my parents. When I noticed they were acting strange, I panicked and deleted the account, confirming that it was indeed me.

That was two years ago, and it's been a miserable two years. I never wanted to tell my parents, and I hate seeing them so hurt, but I'm never going back to being the Hafiz that led Taraweeh prayers, the most devout kid in the family, the son that was destined to study at Madinah university. My parents don't accept that, and it's been a turmoil-filled two years. I'm still exceedingly gentle with them and still the only sibling in five that helps around the house and with errands as much as he can.

My dad won't budge and expects me to come back to the same level of piety I was at before. My mom wants me to leave, and never talk to them again. I can't leave until I finish my degree though, and living separately in the same city as your parents is unheard of in the brown community. Exacerbating everything is the fact that the person who originally tipped off my parents also decided it'd be a good idea to tip off several key religious leaders in the community. The rumour spread far and wide and my family's social status has been brought into question.

I'm with my mom on this one in that the most peaceful way to resolve things now is for me to leave the city/province. I don't want to break off contact with my parents, but they don't want to talk to me if I go. I hate that I have to leave a city where I've built up friendships for so many years, and I'm scared I won't have a place if I go somewhere else.

So...everything is uncertain and scary, but we'll see :-)